Holiday time at the Compassionate Café

“Different generations together, talking about different things.”

“Nicki made sure everything was in place for us. She contacted the tour company and took care of all our payments for us. We just had to pack a bag and go, then we could settle in and enjoy the ride for a few days,” said Ken.

“It helped me a great deal. Once we were there, we did our own thing, going out to see whatever was of interest to you. It helped to get away from Plymouth and to wander around somewhere else and see different things.

“I was born in London, and these were the places we used to sometimes go at the weekend, so it was good to go back and see what I could remember and whether it had changed or not.”

Heather, 89, thought the holiday was a grand idea and had no hesitation signing up.

“I knew it would be enjoyable to go with the others because I’ve got to know them all and they are a really good group,” she said. “The weather was really warm, and it was drier in Eastbourne than it was in Plymouth. I’d never been to that area before and we went on quite a few day trips out to look around, which was lovely.”

Heather who lives on her own, heard about the Compassionate Cafe from a friend at Age UK, and it has helped fill the gap after her sister went into residential care.

“I lost my husband a good many years ago now when I was 71. My sister, Jan, and I had a stall on Plymouth Market together and we retired at the same time when I was 76. I used to go out with Jan a lot, then she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which she has pretty badly, and she’s now in a home.

“I miss her company and going out together. Being part of this group feels good. It’s very friendly and I gel with the people here. It’s so relaxed and Nicki is brilliant.”

Tony, 86, joined the holiday gang with Kay, a good friend he met at the group, and her mother, Penny.

“The three of us went on the holiday. We all voted on where to go, and Eastbourne came out top. Nicki worked her socks off to get it together,” he said.

“The café works because it’s a group of people who have lost husbands and wives and family members and they understand. Everyone looks forward to a Tuesday and I feel easier in myself coming here.

“I lost my missus five years ago. We were together for 63 years and married for 59. Living on your own is great when you’re out! But when you get back in and close the door, that’s something else. You get fed up going down town on your own drinking coffee. In this place you forget about being lonely and it certainly gives you a lift. It’s nice company and everyone comes down to have a chat.”

Kay added: “There’s always something going on at this group. We have a laugh and that is what it’s all about. We look forward to seeing each other and it’s nice because it’s different generations together, talking about different things.”

For Jeanette, who has Parkinson’s and lost her husband Graham two-and-a-half years ago, the trip was a very welcome opportunity.

“Going on holiday when you have Parkinson’s was so much easier when someone else was organising it, so my friend Alison and I thought we would give it a go. A holiday is what you make it, so we made the most of it and got involved in everything going, including all the trips and we stayed up for dancing at the hotel,” she said.

Jeanette, 68, was one of the first to come to the Compassionate Café when it opened because she felt she needed people to talk to.

“I hate mornings and evenings because Graham isn’t there, so I needed to get out. The cafe came up on Facebook and my daughter got in touch. I came along on my own at first and there weren’t many people yet, but it’s grown a lot and when Alison’s husband died, she started coming to the group as well.

“It’s company and someone to talk to. I have met nice people and different people, and many of us are in a similar position,” added Jeanette.