Kim’s celebrating precious memories of Chris at Christmas…with a little help from St Luke’s

20th December 2024

Celebrating memories at Christmas

Christmas can be an especially tough time when someone very close to you has died. You know the festive season won’t ever be the same without your special loved one.

That’s something Kim Marshall is acutely aware of following the death of his dear wife, Chris, at their home in Hooe, last January, aged 71.  But, after receiving personal support from St Luke’s, Kim feels he’ll be able to treat his first Christmas alone as an opportunity to shine a light on Chris’s life, reflecting on the happy relationship the avid Plymouth Argyle fans shared together for 32 years.

“I had bereavement sessions with St Luke’s both before and after Chris died and that was really helpful. It made it so much easier to come to terms with knowing she was going to pass away. Most days now I am OK, but some days I just don’t want to talk to anybody and want to be left alone,” said Kim.

“At Christmas I’ll be thinking of Chris and all the good times we had together. I think you have got to try to think on the positive side. It will be difficult and there will probably be a few tears, but I don’t think that’s unhealthy.”

St Luke’s will always have a place in my heart

Support and understanding for our patients’ family members and close friends is a vital part of the compassionate care St Luke’s offers at the end of life for people affected by terminal illness in Plymouth and surrounding areas of Devon and Cornwall.

“It is so comforting to know someone is there for you. St Luke’s will always have a special place in my heart and it’s so important that people know about what they do,” said Kim. “Until you’re personally affected, I don’t think you can fully realise how important the work St Luke’s does is.

“I didn’t want Chris to pass away in hospital, and when she knew what was happening, she said she wanted to go to St Luke’s. I felt that if Chris was here when she died, then some of her spirit would stay in the house, so I said why don’t you stay at home. St Luke’s made that possible. The care they gave her was fantastic – nothing was ever too much trouble.

“St Luke’s has always been our main charity and I’m going to continue making an annual donation because I want to help other families who are going through a tough time.”

A shared love of Plymouth Argyle

Chris and Kim bonded with our Clinical Nurse Specialist Debbie Hutchinson over their shared love for Plymouth’s home team and were thrilled when she turned up one day with striker Finn Azaz, who volunteered for St Luke’s on his day off.

“It was so special when Debbie brought Finn over to visit us at home. He was absolutely lovely. It was a big loss to Argyle and St Luke’s when he was sold to Middlesborough.”

Kim met Chris, a single mother bringing up her two daughters, Louise and Liz, in 1992 when they were both working for Plymouth City Council, and they married in 1999.

“It was a second marriage for both of us and we were really happy. I have always been a bit crazy and chaotic, and she was very patient. I can honestly not remember us ever having an argument,” he said. “Chris was the brains behind everything. We got on so well together and enjoyed some wonderful holidays together. We especially loved Cyprus and the Greek Islands – Crete was her favourite.”

Kim describes Chris as very kind and popular, with rarely a bad word to say about anyone. An exceptional gardener, she was a mastermind when it came to plants and knew all the proper names of species. Always busy with hobbies like cross stitch, knitting and making her own clothes, she also took evening classes in everything from belly dancing to British Sign Language. She loved home decorating and had a great eye for colour, and enjoyed all sorts of pop music, from Dusty Springfield to Coldplay.

‘It was peaceful at the end’

After first being diagnosed with cancer in 2010, Chris went into remission for several years, although other health problems prompted her to take early retirement in 2014. Kim, meanwhile, went on to work for Torbay Council, retiring last year after Chris’s cancer returned and her health started deteriorating quickly.

“Chris told me that she’d had a good life and had no regrets. It was peaceful at the end. St Luke’s were here, and it was like she just went to sleep,” said Kim, who takes comfort from having Chris’s dogs, dalmatian Robbie, and Clyde, the West Highland Terrier, for company and to keep him active.

Like most couples, Kim and Chris had Christmas traditions that developed over the years, and he’ll be marking those again this December.

On Christmas Eve Chris liked to listen to Carols from Kings College Cambridge on the radio and watch BBC dramatisations of MR James’ Ghost Stories from the late 1800s and early 1900s.

“They are pretty scary!” said Kim. “Then, on Christmas Day she had a CD of carols she would like to play while we opened presents. Chris always used to cook, but last year her daughters brought Christmas dinner over because she was too poorly to make it. Boxing Day is all about football. If Argyle weren’t playing, we would watch a match on TV, and have a couple of glasses of wine or lager, so that’s what I plan to do.”

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