Mark fulfils his Stonehenge dream

23rd August 2024

“I lost sight of myself due to terminal cancer and it means everything to get that back”

A special visit to Britain’s most famous prehistoric standing stones has had a profound effect on patient Mark Glover and his wife, Jane, who are being supported at home in Plymouth by St Luke’s. Here the couple talk about their experiences and how fulfilling his bucket list ambition has renewed Mark’s passion for the limited time he has left.

Jane explains: “Ever since he was a small child, my husband Mark has been fascinated by Stonehenge but, somehow, he never got round to visiting. Then suddenly, due to unforeseen and catastrophic life events, it seemed like it was too late.

Mark’s bucket list

“After working hard throughout his life, 16 years with Toshiba and 16 years as a senior manager with the NHS, Mark suffered a catastrophic stroke three years ago at the age of 53.

“Despite working hard and receiving excellent support from the NHS and the Stroke Association, just prior to Christmas 2023 he received the diagnosis that he had Stage 4 inoperable pancreatic cancer and was terminally ill, with a life expectancy of between one month and six months.

“Since his diagnosis, Mark’s focus has been 100 per cent spent on helping me, as his wife, sorting out his clothes for charity and even arranging his own funeral in a selfless manner to help me and, I think, to occupy his own mind.

“He thought that he would never get opportunity or have the ability to get close to Stonehenge’s iconic megalithic stones and experience their unique energy.

“Due to his cancer diagnosis not only has he been receiving excellent support from the NHS and other healthcare agencies but also from St Luke’s. Lisa Hayman and Charlotte Muquit from St Luke’s occupational therapy and rehab team asked Mark what he would like to experience in his remaining days in the form of a bucket list. He said his wish was to not only visit Stonehenge but to actually be amongst the stones, though he thought he would have difficulty with understanding and mobility.

A magical experience

“Lisa and Charlotte made him think on a different level that he could achieve anything with help and understanding from others. St Luke’s arranged everything for us, pulling out all the stops to make this happen and the next thing we knew English Heritage had offered us two tickets and we found ourselves in front of the actual stones.

“English Heritage were excellent and arranged an early morning private visit so we could experience the power and mystery of the ancient sarsens and bluestones that make up the 5,000-year-old stone circle on Salisbury Plain. They also provided a private guide called Julia who was there to answer any questions that Mark had, offering him private time for reflection and making sure he was not overwhelmed.”

Mark says the whole magical experience has renewed the positive attitude that has already helped him surpass clinical expectations.

“I am aware now that I had the mindset that because most of the actions I wanted to achieve to make life easier for Jane had been completed, maybe it was time to sit back and let nature take its course.

“St Luke’s helped me change this way of thinking. Basically Lisa and Charlotte gave me a kick up the backside which has given me new energy and sense of purpose. I did lose sight of myself, and it means everything to get that back. Charlotte explained why she feels it’s important to go the extra mile to encourage patients to have not only a positive mindset but to use that positivity to achieve the things you want to.”

A private reflection

Charlotte adds: “I fully believe my job is to empower people to achieve their goals and help them to have a sense of control over their lives. Palliative rehab helps people to live well for as long as possible and that is all about person-centred goals and working with your own knowledge and skills, and the bravery and inspiration of the people we care for, to help them go out and achieve whatever is important to them, in whatever way we can.”

Mark continues: “Rather than focusing on the negative I want to make positive use of my time to focus on goals that I would also like to achieve. Now I’ve ticked Stonehenge off my bucket list, it’s given me a passion to do more things while I still can.

“I know people can visit Stonehenge as part of a group, but it was just the three of us there which made the experience so special. I collect crystals of various types and took the opportunity to take a favourite piece of smoky quartz to Stonehenge to absorb the special energy of the place. Having time to view the stones and have some private reflection was special.

Going the extra mile

“I found that Stonehenge is actually quite accessible for someone with limited mobility, and also that English Heritage are happy to go the extra mile to accommodate visitors’ access requirements.

“Our visit was absolutely fantastic and so peaceful. The idea of a perimeter rope keeping you away from the stones had put me off a bit, so it was great to get permission to go up close to the stones.

“Although a sceptic, Jane thoroughly enjoyed the experience and found the visit interesting, spiritual and peaceful. There were certain areas of the circle that I was transfixed by the whole experience, and I definitely felt some sort of a presence focusing on the ‘Horseshoe of Bluestones’ and the ‘Altar Stone’. It was interesting to discover later on the national news that the six-tonne Altar stone actually came from Scotland, as opposed to Wales as previously thought.

“I loved seeing the various wildlife which was abundant and included hares, sheep and lots of crows. My wife always said that her late Dad has been reincarnated as a crow and to my amusement she was trying to work out which crow he could be!”

“I’m not going to have flowers at my funeral – I will have donations to St Luke’s.”

Mark and Jane’s son, Philip, recently got married to Andrea. They both work at University Hospitals Plymouth NHS Trust, Philip as a senior site manager and Andrea as a neonatal nurse. The couple are happily looking forward to the birth of their first child, due in October, and Mark is determined to get to meet his first grandchild. Sadly they’ve been told that it is unlikely he will reach the Christmas period, although he has set himself a goal to achieve this target.

Mark says he and Jane are extremely grateful for the help provided by the whole of the St Luke’s team.

“People think St Luke’s is just a place where you go to die but it’s so much more than that. Until it is relevant to you or your family, you don’t tend to think about it too much.

“They have not only provided direct support to myself but also for my son Philip, my wife, Jane, and my elderly Mum, who is obviously finding things difficult.

“I’m not going to have flowers at my funeral – I will have donations to St Luke’s. I’d like to take every opportunity to help St Luke’s provide other people with the support they have given me and my family.”

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