When Marc Fletcher and his best mate started making plans to climb Mount Snowdon in memory of his late mother, Eve – shining a spotlight on the care she received from St Luke’s Hospice Plymouth – they asked his father, George, if he’d like to take the train up to meet them at the top and perhaps walk back down.
But the 85-year-old was having none of it. If they were climbing Snowdon – the highest peak in Wales – then George wasn’t going to take the easy option.
For him it’s not only a way to honour his wife of 55 years, but also to raise funds for St Luke’s so that other local families can benefit from the compassionate doorstep urgent care service he had no idea existed until they experienced it themselves earlier this year.
Marc said: “Dad is not a crier, but I saw tears in his eyes when the St Luke’s nurses gave him a hug. It made such a difference to see my Mum and Dad supported like that.
“Everyone knows St Luke’s name but not the extent of what they actually do. I didn’t realise they looked after people in their own homes, until they came to care for Mum. We thought it was the hospice building at Turnchapel and that was it.
“I will be forever grateful for what they did for us. I think it would have been a completely different journey without St Luke’s.”
This weekend retired AA patrolman and former firefighter George, from Ivybridge, is joining Marc, and family friend Mark Buckham, on a heartfelt trip of a lifetime up and down the rugged mountain path he last remembers attempting nearly 70 years ago as a young Army recruit doing National Service.
“Dad’s pretty fit for 85, but it’s still going to be a challenge. Last year he had a heart attack and an operation to insert a stent. He broke a vertebra in his neck about 11 years ago but managed to survive!” said Marc.
He and George will be camping nearby on Friday and Saturday nights before joining Mark to embark on the Llanberis Path on Sunday, a total of nine miles there and back, climbing to a height of 975m (3199ft). It’s the longest, but the easiest of the Snowdon routes, but still no small feat, and it’s going to take them at least seven hours to complete.
“Mark has done a lot of planning to work out the best way for us to do the trip with Dad and make it as comfortable as possible for him. We’ll be taking good care of him,” said Marc.
Since becoming poorly last August, Eve – originally from South Africa and with Marc’s half siblings, Kevin and Sharon, from a previous marriage – had been in and out of hospital. George practised his caring skills by helping other patients on the ward while she slept. After her final stay of five weeks, she had had enough.
“Eve wanted to come home, so you just do it, don’t you?” recalled George.
Initially he was reluctant to accept help to look after his wife in the months leading up to her death in March. From past experience George felt that no outsiders could care for her as well, or as lovingly, as he could – until the team from St Luke’s turned up at their door.
He soon found out that they weren’t only there for Eve, who had multiple health problems with her circulation and respiratory systems, as well as Type 1 diabetes, and had become frightened to be left alone. They were there for him too.
“At the time you can’t really take it all on board, but looking back I am so grateful,” said George. “Before I’d found it really difficult not knowing who was coming and when, and being asked lots of questions all the time about what I had or hadn’t done.
“It was different with St Luke’s nurses. You just can’t fault them. They were straightforward and honest, and they listened. I didn’t see what was happening to me. I was looking after my wife, missing meals and not getting enough sleep. The St Luke’s team insisted I must have a rest twice a day. At first, I thought they were just being polite, but they really cared.
“They were firm, but it came across in exactly the right manner, and they gave me a hug and a cuddle when they could see I needed it. This is the sort of thing that goes on behind the scenes that people just don’t know about until it happens to them.”
For Marc, it was wonderful to see his dad being able to simply spend time with his mum, rather than rushing up and down stairs all the time, feeling frustrated and tired.
“The message I want to get out there is the ricochet effect on the family when St Luke’s come in – the ease it gave Dad and how it made me feel knowing he was being taken care of too. We could see Dad running himself into the ground, but he couldn’t. They gave him emotional support, telling him he was doing a good job, but he needed to rest as well.
“It meant we were all able to have better quality of time with her,” added Marc. “The whole family felt it. It eased the pressure and worry. We felt comfortable with the St Luke’s nurses here and their care felt very personal. I think Mum was always pleased to see them arrive too. And, because she was at home, her 10 grandchildren were able to be with her too.”
Marc also appreciated how the St Luke’s team always talked to his Mum, explaining everything they were doing and what was happening to her, in simple language, as well as allaying his and his dad’s concerns.
“When we were really worried that Mum was eating very little, they told us that she didn’t need much food because she wasn’t using a lot of energy. We were still trying to make her better, but Mum knew it was her time and St Luke’s helped us to understand that.”
As Eve got closer to death, George was grateful that they spelt out what they could expect when someone is dying and left him information to refer to.
“A lot of it is fear of the unknown and reading the leaflet they left told us what was going to happen,” he said. “I didn’t know the signs, but it explains them really clearly. It’s much better if you understand what’s happening and what to look out for. People need to know these things.”
Eve’s funeral was in April and her grave at the cemetery is a very short walk from the couple’s Ivybridge back garden, just as she wanted.
If you would like to sponsor George, Marc and Mark on their Mount Snowdon climb, please visit their GoFundMe page.
Watch this space to find out how their expedition went.
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