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The Running Diaries: Miles for Marian

In memory of Marian

“Marian was just a brilliant human being.”

These are the words that David Lane uses to describe his late wife, Marian, a dedicated and inspirational mum, daughter, sister, friend and teacher who sadly died in November.

Marian was diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2020, receiving care from both St Luke’s at Derriford and our at home teams. Over the next few years Marian went through various treatments and chemotherapy with headstrong determination, until she reached the end of her options and died peacefully at our specialist unit at Turnchapel at the end of last year.

Proving everyone wrong

David says he will always remember what the consultant said to her as she approached the end. “He turned round to her and said ‘thank you for teaching me so much about how much someone can do with a positive attitude’. That was very emotional. The consultant said he expected her to go straight to St Luke’s from Derriford after her first diagnosis. With her positive attitude and determination she proved everyone wrong.”

Family comes first

David describes their family as ‘a tight unit’. Marian and him met at university over 30 years ago, both qualifying as primary school teachers. While Marian continued to teach, most recently at St Andrew’s Primary School on the Hoe, David became a builder and property developer, with the duo doing up properties together and even building their own house.

Once married, the couple had three daughters, 24-year-old Evie and 17-year-old twins Molly and Anna. For both David and Marian, family always came first and spending time outdoors together was paramount. Even during her treatment, Marian would try to never miss one of the girls’ netball matches or bike races.

Her positive attitude was embedded in their lives

David says that Marian’s positive attitude was embedded in their lives. “For over 30 years we have had so many adventures together. From tolerating endless bike talk to actually agreeing to marry me. From jumping on a ferry to France (slightly drunk on a Friday night!) to building our own house. From trusting me to give up work to creating our own campervan for numerous adventures…Marian’s positive, caring and trusting attitude has been at the core of it all.”

It was not just her family life that Marian brought life and energy to. “She was described by her friends as the glue that held everyone together,” David says. “She was extremely creative designing properties, gardens and parties. She was a dedicated and well-regarded teacher who put great thought into her work and went the extra mile setting up a gardening and running club at St Andrew’s Primary.”

Running for Marian

David recalls the day, a few months before she died. “She gathered us all together to give us a bit of a talking to. She basically told us the new family mantra was going to be F*** it  – let’s do it! The aim was to live in the moment and not worry about the ifs or buts. The family loved this and it felt like the right thing. We stopped finding excuses not to do something, as we all should everyday.”

It is this mantra that has spurred on David and the girls into throwing themselves into charity fundraising challenges including Evie completing an off-road mountain biking challenge and David cycling fifty 50km rides before his 50th birthday. With the latest family challenge being taking part in the Run Plymouth Running festival next weekend in aid of St Luke’s.

In safe hands with St Luke’s

“Throughout her illness Marian received support and help from St Luke’s at home and in Derriford,” says David. “Towards the end, St Luke’s helped Marian at home and also aided her decision about where she wanted to die. They showed compassion and gave Marian real dignity and calm at the end. She made the decisions and even managed one last view of the sea on her way in.

“We all felt that she was in such safe hands. She knew what was coming and on her last night went from being always asleep to giving us all a hug and saying she loved us. As a family we will never forget this.

Running miles for Marian in Plymouth

“As soon as Marian died Evie decided she wanted to do something for St Luke’s after we were all so touched by the care and dignity offered to Marian in her last few days and the support offered to us all beyond.

“Marian set up the half marathon challenge at her school so it seemed appropriate to take part in the Plymouth half marathon ourselves. It has definitely given a focus and we have been amazed by the number of people running in Marian’s name. She was held in such high regard by so many people. At the funeral there was probably around 200 people there from the cycling community, numerous headteachers/teachers and huge amounts of friends that had travelled from all over the country. It was a truly special day.”

The family are aiming to raise £5,200 before what would have been Marian’s 52nd birthday in June, with all three daughters taking on the half marathon. On average it costs us £1,000 to care for someone in the community, so this will provide care for five people like Marian.

David says: “This is our way of paying it forward. The girls will be joined by up to 15-20 family and friends. Some will run the half and others will run the 10 or 5km on the same day, me included. Appropriately the name of the team is F*** IT LETS RUN! building on Marian’s favourite saying.”

You can support the family’s fundraising mission on their JustGiving page.

Run for St Luke’s

It costs £11 million to provide our services each year and the majority of that is down to contributions from the local community. By choosing to run for St Luke’s, you will be making a direct impact on the vital funds we need, allowing us to continue to provide compassionate care and support for local families.

Whether you put your best foot forward in Plymouth or at any race across the country or further afield, you’ll be raising much-needed funds to help us reach people living near you when their time is running short. With your support, we can ensure they live well to the end of their lives, making precious memories with those dearest to them.

If you are interested in running for St Luke’s, then please get in touch today.

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