Age is no barrier for Jean and Bernie

Meet Jean and Bernie

Age is no barrier when it comes to our Midnight Walkers. At 78 and 87, Jean Turfkruyer and Bernie Massey will be some of our oldest participants at our Midnight Walk on Friday, but the friends are not letting their age stop them from taking part and making a difference.

Jean and Bernie are two of our Compassionate Friends who volunteer at our Friends in the Park Compassionate Café at the Well Being Hub at Central Park.

The pair first met four years ago when the café was first set up for members of the community who are experiencing loss, bereavement or maybe affected by life limiting illness to meet.

We welcome all ages at our Midnight Walk, so we were overjoyed to hear of the two friends choosing to take on our 2.5 mile walk, with Jean completing it with the aid of her walker. They will be walking in memory of Jean’s partner Steve, who sadly died in March this year. Steve was cared for in our specialist unit for four weeks back in February.

Comfort at a difficult time

Jean described how his time at St Luke’s brought him comfort at a difficult time.

“Before going in he was always asking me to go home, which I think is typical in dementia. People will say they want to go home, but they just want to be in a safe place, but they don’t know where that safe place is. He didn’t really know where he wanted to be, but he never ever asked to go home once he was in St Luke’s. He was, I would say, calm and he felt looked after and he felt safe.

“And in turn, that helped us because we could leave knowing that he was being looked after, not worrying about, you know, what would happen when we left. It gave us peace of mind. We were able to enjoy one another’s company instead of being fearful and anxious and afraid. We had that time, which is really, really special.

“I really haven’t got words to express how much St Luke’s gave us. Those four weeks wiped out all the anxiety and fear and worry of the previous years, really. Because he was severely sight impaired and then with the cancer diagnosis, it got very difficult at home. I don’t think I for one appreciated how difficult it was. And so that worry was all taken off my shoulders and St Luke’s took it on. And I would say everybody played a part in that, it wasn’t just the nurses and the doctors, it was the cleaners, the receptionist and people working in the café as well, everybody was so caring. Everyone made the effort.”

Jean went on to recall how Steve’s daughter described the last few telephone calls she had with him, while he was at the hospice. “She said to him, you know, how are you? And he said, I’m okay. And then she said, are you happy? And he said, yes, I’m happy. What more could somebody ask for when they’re losing themselves? Just to be looked after, cared for and safe.”

Compassionate Friends

For Bernie, as well as supporting her friend, she has always had an interest in the hospice movement, having previously worked as a play therapist with children in hospice care.

It was during the Covid-19 outbreak that Bernie first volunteered for St Luke’s, speaking to our patients over the phone, keeping them from isolation and giving them a listening ear. This then led her to train to become one of our Compassionate Friends, someone who looks out for others and ‘makes a difference’ to those with a life limiting illness or affected by loss. For the last four years her and Jean have been attending the Friends in the Park Compassionate Café every Tuesday from 10.30am to 12.30pm, to talk and listen to anyone wanting comfort, advice or simply social interactions. It is run in collaboration with the Argyle Community Trust, who run a walk and talk session around Central Park.

Bernie said: “If you can help somebody else to go forward in their life, that’s what it’s all about. You know, they’re happy, and they know we’re there.”

Registrations for Midnight Walk close soon

If like Jean and Bernie you have been inspired to sign up to our Midnight Walk, now is the time to do it. Registrations closes at 9am on Wednesday morning, so you don’t have long. Our Midnight Walk, sponsored by Michael Spiers, is a chance to shine a light on all those very special people who are no longer with us, while striding forward to secure the future of our hospice services at home and in our specialist unit. This year, for the first time, we’re offering you a choice of four routes instead of three. Choose from 2.5, 5, 7.5 or 13.5 miles, all beginning and ending at Plymouth Argyle’s Home Park stadium in the Fan Zone. Registration costs just £24 for ages 11 and over, and £12 for ages 10 and under, but that only covers your official Midnight Walk t-shirt and medal, refreshments and our event costs. It’s your additional sponsorship and donations that really make the difference to the patients who need our vital service at home and at our specialist unit at Turnchapel, 365 days a year.

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