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Coping at Christmas

5th December 2024

Remember and celebrate loved ones this festive season

Bereavement is hard at any time of year, but the festive season – and Christmas itself -can feel particularly challenging for anyone experiencing grief. No-one understands this more than us. As well as providing specialist end-of-life care for people with terminal illness, we offer their family members bereavement support too.

This week (2-8 December) is National Grief Awareness Week, in association with The Good Grief Trust. The aim of the week is to raise awareness of grief, highlight the support on offer and to normalise conversations around it.

Clare Bouvier, Patient and Family Support Worker at St Luke’s, said: “As a charity providing both specialist palliative care to people with a life-limiting illness and bereavement support, we know how difficult Christmas can be for anyone who is grieving, whether it’s a recent bereavement or from a long time ago.”

In her work, Clare draws alongside patients nearing the end of their lives and their families preparing to say the hardest goodbye of all.

With a listening ear and a hand to hold, she is also there to support individuals and families after their loved one has died. And, having experienced bereavement herself, she can empathise, understanding the range of emotions they may be experiencing.

Tips for coping with grief at Christmas

Mindful of just how hard it can be facing Christmas when you are missing a loved one who has died, Clare has shared some coping strategies for getting through the season:

Talk to friends and family: We all grieve in different ways and you may need to let them know how you are feeling.

Include the person in some way: Perhaps raise a toast, light a candle, listen to their favourite music or read a poem.

Give people permission to talk about the person: Family and friends might worry about upsetting you. Try to let them know it’s healthy and helpful for you to share memories.

Enjoy the company of others: You don’t need to feel guilty about having fun. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and no timescale. Equally, it’s fine if you prefer to spend time alone.

It’s alright to change your plans: Explain to others that you might need to alter your plans at the last minute because grief can come in waves.

Be kind to yourself: Self-compassion is important, so don’t beat yourself up about any so-called ‘negative’ emotions. Remember, too, that like all seasonal holidays, Christmas will soon pass.

“Of course, everyone is different so some of these strategies and tips may work for you, while others may not. Above all, remember that it is both healthy and normal to grieve, cherishing our memories of those we have lost.”

Light Up a Life Remembrance Services

We are inviting you to join us to remember, and celebrate, the lives of loved ones at our annual Light Up a Life services taking place at 3.30pm, 5.30pm and 7.30 pm on Tuesday 17 December at The Minster Church of St Andrew, Plymouth.

Free to attend, the services are open to all, regardless of faith, with many people returning each year because of the uplifting atmosphere and the heartwarming solidarity that comes from being among others who understand how it feels to be missing someone special.

“Our Light Up a Life services give people the opportunity to pause and reflect during the busy Christmas period,” said Claire, “with a dedicated time and space to remember their loved ones while feeling a sense of connection with others who are also bereaved.

“You don’t have to be a churchgoer or have a connection with St Luke’s to go along. You can experience the beautiful surroundings, light a candle in memory of someone special, sing Christmas carols, and enjoy festive refreshments afterwards. Everyone is welcome and there is no need to book.”

For more information about St Luke’s Light Up a Life services kindly supported by Friends Helping at Home click here.

Light Up a Life Remembrance Services Patient and Family Support Service Light Up a Life Appeal

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