How schools can support grieving children and parents

13th November 2025

St Luke’s Compassionate Schools programme encourages and empowers conversations in schools and colleges about death and dying so that staff and pupils can help support and comfort children and young people, and their families, when they are facing the loss of someone close.

Figures show that one in 29 children in the UK are affected by the terminal illness or loss of a close family member – that’s roughly one child in every classroom. Through our close contact with local families in times of crisis, we know how important it is for grieving children to feel well supported not only by their class teachers, but also by their fellow pupils and other school staff.

Adopting the Compassionate Schools ethos means better understanding of bereavement and the emotions associated with it, and an attitude of caring and kindness becomes an integral part of the school day.

St Luke’s role is to provide guidance for a whole school approach to opening discussions, establishing procedures for support, and offering appropriate awareness sessions to staff so they can set children and young people up with compassionate knowledge and skills to can carry with them into adulthood.

We championed the initiative in 2017 and there has been ongoing demand ever since. To date over 30 education establishments, including primary, secondary, and higher education, in the city of Plymouth and in the wider communities of West and South West Devon and East Cornwall, have engaged with the programme. Several of these are now proudly recognised as Compassionate Schools while others are working towards achieving this status.

As a charity serving the local community, St Luke’s three-year strategy (2024-2027) prioritises the implementation of the Compassionate Schools programme as a key part of our Community Development work to improve death literacy and build a more compassionate society.

Leigham Primary School, Plymouth, is a shining of example of how becoming a Compassionate School not only benefits children and families who are coping with the death of a family member but also promotes a more supportive environment for everyone.

Headteacher Sam Barker explained: “At Leigham Primary School, we are incredibly passionate about providing support to bereaved children and families and those going through anticipatory grief. Being recognised as a Compassionate School and hearing about the positive impact of our work on our pupils and families has made this journey so worthwhile.

“Our children are supported by peers (Compassionate Buddies) and adults (Compassionate Friends) in school. Our lunchtime drop-in Starfish Club is incredibly popular and provides a safe space for support, reflection or even a distraction. Our memory tree in the library is a lovely way for families to remember loved ones at special times.

“Our school project has been so well led by Shana Marsh, Gemma Tucker and Tamsin Bentley. It really has become part of what we stand for and weaves through our values at Leigham.

“As headteacher, it was my own grief and personal experiences which compelled me to sign up to the Compassionate Schools project. I lost both my mum Susan Pollard (who managed a St Luke’s charity shop) and my dad within a few weeks of each other. My own difficulties navigating grief made me so passionate about ensuring that our pupils had support in place to help them through such difficult times.”

A parent whose daughters have received bereavement support at Leigham Primary, has nothing but praise for the school’s approach.

She said: “The Compassionate Schools group has had a deeply positive impact on my children following the devastating loss of their beloved daddy who was only 27. The girls were aged six and three at the time.

“When everything felt uncertain and overwhelming, the support we received gave my children a sense of understanding, safety, and belonging that they truly needed. Being a grieving wife, whilst supporting my girls was the hardest task I have ever undertaken, but the support made it a much easier situation for me.

“Through the specialised groups my daughters have been able to connect with others who had experienced similar losses or understood their loss. The Compassionate Friends offered them space to express their feelings openly and without judgment and gently guided them through their grief with empathy and care.

“The support wasn’t just emotional; it was practical too. I’ve seen my girls grow stronger, more open, and more able to carry their grief with them in a healthy, supported way. Talking about daddy isn’t so sad any more. The memories are cherished, and we can all talk openly.

“Not every day is easy, but they are certainly easier with the support we receive from Leigham Primary School, even three years on.

“We are incredibly grateful to The Compassionate Friends for their work, they continue to bring comfort, hope, and healing to families like ours at a time when it is most needed. Nothing is too much trouble and on the harder days, open arms are available. I cannot thank the school enough for everything they do for the girls.”

Another parent, whose young sons have been supported at Leigham Primary, added: “More schools need this in place. Friends I have told about the support we have received don’t have anything like it in their children’s schools. I am so thankful.

“At the end of their foundation year, my sons’ Grandad began to fall very ill with his long-term illness.  St Luke’s were hugely involved and so amazing in supporting and caring for us all. We sadly lost their Grandad on 4 August 2024.  He was surrounded by all the family, including the two boys, at home. My sons were both massively affected by this loss and starting Year One was another massive milestone for them.

“I emailed the headteacher before the beginning of term to explain what had happened. My family and I were blown away by the compassion and love and support for myself as well as for my boys. From the first day of Year One things were put in place. The boys joined the Starfish Group and the first thing they made was a rainbow. They both came home and put it next to their granddad’s picture where it still sits to this day. They have done so much more with the Starfish Group such as Christmas time with the school tree, as well as normal visits as and when they need them.

“One of the boys still struggles a lot more than the other. A staff member saw this and started a little memory book with him. She took time to sit with him and learn more about the amazing relationship that he had with his Grandad, and they wrote memories down. He still carries this to school every day.

“The Starfish Group is there as and when I need, as are the compassionate, loving teachers who still support my boys, including last week when it was their Grandad’s birthday.”

Would your school or college like to know more about the Compassionate Schools programme? Email community.development@stlukes-hospice.org.uk

Compassionate Schools Our Compassionate Community

Related articles

, ,

BLOG: Decking the Halls at Turnchapel

A sprinkling of Christmas cheer has brightened up our specialist unit this week. A group of kind-hearted volunteers from Land Registry, Plymouth volunteered their time to decorate the Christmas trees that have generously been donated to St Luke’s by Blue Diamond Endsleigh Garden Centre Ivybridge. The team spent the day adding touches of tinsel and baubles to the entrance, reception and on the wards, bringing some festive joy to not only the people staying with us, but their families, visitors and all our staff and volunteers.
, ,

BLOG: Coping at Christmas

Bereavement is hard at any time of year, but the festive season - and Christmas itself -can feel particularly challenging for anyone experiencing grief. No-one understands this more than us. As well as providing specialist end-of-life care for people with terminal illness, we offer their family members bereavement support too. This week (2-8 December) is National Grief Awareness Week, in association with The Good Grief Trust. The aim of the week is to raise awareness of grief, highlight the support on offer and to normalise conversations around it.
, ,

BLOG: St Luke’s Men’s Day Out is back for 2026!

Step up for each other, stride out for hospice care – St Luke’s Men’s Day Out is back for 2026! Walk with us on Saturday 14 March 2026 and show families in our community they’re not alone. By joining the mass of big-hearted men marching through Plymouth, you’ll help bring St Luke’s compassionate, expert care to those who need it most.
, ,

BLOG: Light Up a Life 2025

We believe in celebrating the special people who are no longer with us, especially during the festive season, which can sometimes be particularly difficult. As you know, at St Luke’s, we are here to support terminally ill patients and their families who will be spending their final Christmas together, as well as those facing their first Christmas without a dear loved one. The one thing we never forget is that people are not just their illnesses – their illness is something that happens to them. With that in mind, we make sure we focus on the entire life of each individual patient and what matters most to them and their family members. We do our best to provide the support that allows them to enjoy and make the very most of the time they have left together. And later, we carry on being there for those left behind as they cope with the pain of loss. We invite you all to join us at our Light Up a Life Remembrance Services on Tuesday 16 December to remember and celebrate those we have loved.
, ,

BLOG: St Luke’s opens Plymouth’s largest charity shop at Charles Cross

St Luke’s has opened the doors to its brand-new flagship store at Charles Cross - claiming the title of Plymouth’s biggest charity shop. We have relocated our flagship furniture store from the former Toys ‘R’ Us building at Western Approach to a prime city-centre location, just yards away from shopping hub Drake Circus. There to cut the ribbon were members of our Urgent Care Team, who are committed to providing our compassionate end-of-life care and bespoke support to people at home.
, ,

BLOG: Because home is where love lives

Valerie and her husband Michael have shared a lifetime together - surviving war, raising a family, and building memories that span continents. Recently, Val was diagnosed with cancer of the blood, and her greatest wish was simple: to stay at home with the man she’s loved for 66 years. Thanks to St Luke’s, that wish came true. Our team is there every day, bringing comfort, dignity, and compassion - because home is where love lives. “They’re just like friends coming to visit you… It helps the family too. People forget about the family.” This is hospice care at its heart: not just caring for patients, but wrapping families in support when they need it most. Your support is how we make moments like this possible. Thank you.
, ,

BLOG: How schools can support grieving children and parents

St Luke’s Compassionate Schools programme encourages and empowers conversations in schools and colleges about death and dying so that staff and pupils can help support and comfort children and young people, and their families, when they are facing the loss of someone close. Figures show that one in 29 children in the UK are affected by the terminal illness or loss of a close family member – that’s roughly one child in every classroom. Through our close contact with local families in times of crisis, we know how important it is for grieving children to feel well supported not only by their class teachers, but also by their fellow pupils and other school staff. Adopting the Compassionate Schools ethos means better understanding of bereavement and the emotions associated with it, and an attitude of caring and kindness becomes an integral part of the school day.
, ,

BLOG: Step inside: Explore our specialist unit with our new hospice virtual tour

The prospect of coming to a hospice can be a daunting and scary one. We have tried to ease any uncertainty with our brand-new virtual tour. Thanks to local company Made Snappy 360 who created the virtual tour, you can now step inside the doors of our specialist unit at Turnchapel from the comfort of your home. Whether you are coming to the hospice building yourself, from home or hospital, or visiting a loved one, we hope that by exploring the rooms and gardens any anxiety can be lessened. Many of you, including young children, may have never even stepped foot inside a hospice, so will be unsure of what to expect, but thanks to the virtual tour you can now explore the rooms ahead of time, including the family play room!
, ,

BLOG: A brush with Christmas: Brian Pollard’s festive designs for St Luke’s

It might still be October, but at St Luke’s we’re starting to embrace the festive spirit - and what better way to start than with our brand-new charity Christmas cards, available in all our shops now! This year’s exclusive design has been painted by celebrated local artist and long-time supporter of St Luke’s, Brian Pollard, whose joyful winter scene captures the magic of Plymouth in the snow. We caught up with Brian to hear more about his inspiration and his special connection to St Luke’s.
PreviousNext

Our Care

Support us

Courses

Information

BLOG: You can take the lady out of St Luke’s but not St Luke’s out of the...BLOG: A brush with Christmas: Brian Pollard’s festive designs for St Luke...