Suzy and Willy’s forget-me-not wedding

27th September 2024

City comic and her husband honour St Luke’s and lost loved ones at seaside celebration

Award-winning comedian Suzy Bennett and her pub landlord husband Willy Shambrook made a big splash for St Luke’s at their Lido wedding earlier this month, putting hospice care, and the special people the couple have loved and lost, at the heart of a unique ceremony.

Planning the big day, Suzy and her mum, Jean, were browsing a local wedding fair (“just for a laugh and to get free stuff!”) when they spotted the St Luke’s stand and ordered a big batch of our beautiful forget-me-not remembrance pin badges.

“We both welled up when we saw them. They were exactly what we wanted for our wedding favours, and they inspired the whole blue and white wedding theme,” said Suzy, who wore also wore a forget-me-not hairclip, while Willy sported a turquoise waistcoat.

“St Luke’s is very close to our hearts. They have looked after several close family members recently with so much kindness, love and care. They have also been very supportive to us as a family since our losses. They are a really special team.”

Forget-Me-Not Elmer

Rather than having a hen night, Suzy completed walks for charity instead. With her friend, and fellow comedian, Jane Hill she took part in St Luke’s Midnight Walk in July, raising more than £300 in sponsorship. Acknowledging her mum’s breast cancer treatment, she also participated in two Moonwalks – one in London and one in Iceland (in a pasty-themed bra) – for the Walk the Walk charity.

Suzy, 48, has “had a thing” about elephants since she was a baby, so she and Willy were delighted to have Forget-Me-Not Elmer as a centrepiece for their big day, kindly loaned by Trevor Worth at Portcullis Legals, Plymstock. The beautifully painted sculpture was a star of Elmer’s Big Parade, a spectacular city-wide event that generated £320,000 for St Luke’s back in 2019.

Suzy is a regular swimmer at Tinside Lido during the season, and Willy adores the sea views, but heavy rain showers forced them to rethink their outdoor poolside ceremony at the last minute. The couple managed to take a dip and pose for some poignant photos by the pool overlooking Plymouth Sound, before celebrating their marriage, and also both their birthdays, with a party at Steel Brew at Royal William Yard.

A focal point for the day was the memorial board photo display of forget-me-not friends and family – all the special people the couple have loved and lost in recent years – along with a St Luke’s collecting can.

“St Luke’s don’t forget the family”

Suzy’s dad, and Jean’s husband, Jim Tozer, was cared for by St Luke’s at home before he died in October 2019.  She said: “Mum was a nurse, and we were both doing what we could with Dad, but she needed to be a wife, and she was able to step back and let St Luke’s be the nurses.”

Stand-up comedian Suzy, who won the 2006 Funny Women, recalled how her dad kept asking “When’s Nurse Gladys Emmanuel coming?”, likening the St Luke’s nurses to Arkwright’s exasperated love interest in the beloved TV comedy series Open All Hours, offering a hint that his daughter’s comic talents might have some hereditary roots.

Suzy added: “The night after my dad died, we had a bottle of gin and decided to do a fundraiser. It gave us a real boost every time someone donated, and we ended up getting over £3,000.”

When her auntie Betty McKiernan died at St Luke’s specialist unit three months later, Suzy and Jean added her name to the fund.

“She had motor neurone disease, and she was so brave. Thankfully she was able to communicate using her iPad. She said: ‘I just want to lay and sleep now.’ They made her so comfortable. She had this lovely room where she could look out the window. I remember there was a rainbow in the sky and every time I see one now, I think of her.

“We were very grateful that Dad and Betty died just before Covid happened. They were safe and comfortable, and we could be with them.

“St Luke’s don’t forget the family either. We have had so much after care and support and letters and met such lovely people. A support worker used to come round and visit Mum.”

Then, in October last year, Betty’s husband, Eddie McKiernan, spent his final days at St Luke’s.

“Eddie would only come into the hospice because he knew how kind everyone had been with Betty. He was so frightened at home because he kept falling. At St Luke’s he was in a nice comfy bed, and he didn’t have to worry about anything. He just let go. When we came in to visit him one day he started singing Bob Dylan’s Mr Tambourine Man – and Eddie never used to sing!”

After his wife died, Eddie had signed up to St Luke’s Sponsor a Nurse Campaign as a way of making sure the compassionate care she received would be there for others in the future – not realising that he would go on to benefit from it himself.  Eddie also chose to say thank you by making a generous donation to St Luke’s as a legacy in his will.

“You had me at pasty”

One of the dear pals remembered by the couple as part of their unconventional forget-me-not wedding, was Colin Foster (aka Fozzie) of the Barbican’s B-bar, a close friend and supporter of Suzy’s comedy career, who was cared for at home by St Luke’s before his death earlier this year.

Master of ceremonies for the wedding was David Arnold, the mutual friend and fellow comedian who introduced Suzy to Willy, “now collectively known as Swilly”.

“Yep, he’s the one who fixed us up,” said Suzy. “David was at Willy’s pub and phoned me to say, ‘I have the perfect man for you’.”

A few sightings of each other at gigs, award nights and some Facebook communication followed before the couple finally met for a date.

Willy said: “I thought by some miracle that Suzy would want to go out with me. So I sent a message saying: ‘Do you fancy a pasty?’”

Suzy laughed: “I replied, ‘You had me at pasty!’ and that was our first date – over a steak and Stilton from Malcolm Barnecutts.”

As landlord of the Mannamead pub, Willy was familiar with St Luke’s name, mostly because the route of the charity’s annual Men’s Day Out goes past the front door, but he soon got to find out much more after meeting Suzy.

Willy said: “I had never come into contact with hospice care before. Suzy introduced me to St Luke’s, and I have seen how much it means to her and Jean… the first class stuff they do.”

“It seems like a really happy place to be.”

In 2021 Willy signed up for Men’s Day Out to walk in memory of Suzy’s dad but wasn’t able to take part because he was on duty at the pub. Instead, he hung up his T-shirt behind the bar with Jim’s name written on the back. Around 30 participants who popped in for a pint and weren’t walking in memory of a specific friend or family member, followed suit. Suzy was thrilled to see Jim well and truly honoured as part of the popular annual event.

“I’ve got so much more of an understanding now, through Suzy and Jean, about what St Luke’s does for people at home and what a wonderful place the specialist unit is. It seems like a really happy place to be.”

Suzy added: “The hospice is just so peaceful, and it doesn’t feel clinical at all. I saw it with Betty and Eddie when they came there; they just relaxed and let people take care of them. We love visiting and walking through the gardens.”

Whenever they call in, Suzy and Jean are always proud to see Jim remembered with his own leaf on St Luke’s Memory Tree in the Conservatory at the hospice.

Kim Dover, St Luke’s New Partnerships Advisor, who was manning the charity’s stall at the wedding fair, said: “We are so grateful to Suzy, Willy, Jean and their family for their ongoing support for St Luke’s and especially for choosing our forget-me-not pins for their wedding favours and making us part of their special day.”

After a sunshine honeymoon in Rhodes, it’s now business as usual for Willy back at the Mannamead, while funny woman Suzy, who ran this summer’s Boardmasters Festival’s Keg and Pasty pub in the guise of landlady “Red Ruth”, has a host of comedy gigs on the calendar leading up to Christmas and beyond. Those include The Westcountry Pincer Movement with Comedy Queen of Cornwall Anna Keirle, as well as a starring role in Plymouth’s alternative comedy panto, Ciderella, both at the Barbican Theatre.

To find out more about St Luke’s forget-me-not pin badges, and other ways to support St Luke’s at your wedding, special event or in memory of a special loved one, please contact the fundraising team at funadmin@stlukes-hospice.org.uk.

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