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BLOG: Memories are made of this – magic moments with Matt and Kelley


Creating happy memories has always been a special part of Matt and Kelley Avery’s life together. A formidable, fun-loving team, they’ve certainly collected a bumper package of magic moments over the past 17 years, despite weathering some very tough times.

The couple have shared numerous incredible holidays in the UK and around the world, on their own, with friends, and with their children. They’ve danced the night away at family and friends’ weddings and been the life and soul of countless dinner parties and new year celebrations, as well as murder mystery and hot tub evenings they’ve hosted at home.

And who could forget the romantic hot air balloon adventure that former Miss Plymouth Kelley booked as a surprise that confirmed she and Matt were made for each other?

But they certainly didn’t expect to be adding to their positive standout memories when Matt was admitted to St Luke’s specialist unit a few weeks ago, weak and in terrible pain.

Nevertheless, there were a few big surprises in store for the carpenter, funky house DJ and Rat Pack fan and his wife – not least him feeling well enough to go home to Sherford, where he’s now spending precious time with Kelley, their daughters Madison, 15, and Lacey,11, son Harrison, six, and spaniel Chester, nearly 13.

On top of expert care, the whole family – including the dog – felt welcomed, supported and thoroughly spoilt by St Luke’s friendly and understanding teams who all went above and beyond to create a positive experience.

There was an impromptu birthday party for Matt, Halloween fun with pumpkins, quiet times with his parents in the hospice gardens, arts and crafts sessions for the children and a unique Plymouth Argyle treat that put the icing on the cake.

“Four weeks ago, I was up in bed in complete pain thinking that was it. I went into St Luke’s at Turnchapel with worries because you think ‘Am I going to be able to come out?’ Some people don’t. But there are people who do, and I am one of them,” said Matt. “I had such a good experience in there, the way they looked after me and reassured me all the time.”

Matt was first diagnosed with a rare form of cancer – GIST or gastro intestinal stromal tumours – when he was 31, back in 2009. The news came just five weeks before he and Kelley were due to get married. Matt had started chemotherapy treatment, but the wedding went ahead as planned at Plymouth’s Continental Hotel, with 140 guests – and more in the evening, when a Rat Pack singer sang some of Matt’s favourite songs. “The best wedding present was being told that he was responding to treatment,” said Kelley.

After a successful operation on his bowel and liver at Derriford Hospital, Matt has continued on slow release chemo treatment ever since, enjoying months and years of feeling fit and well, interspersed with sporadic bouts of ill health.

Cancer was part of his and Kelley’s everyday reality, but they didn’t let it stop them living life to the full or affect their dreams of adding to their family. Lacey was born in 2012, Matt trained hard and ran the Plymouth Half Marathon in 2015 in just two hours, and in 2017 the couple welcomed Harrison into the world.

Kelley, a former Miss Plymouth, who worked for an estate agency, said: “I thought the best thing to do was to keep to a routine with the children, with work and with life in general. Of course, the focus is going to be on the person who is poorly, but you have to be the glue holding things together.

“The week leading up to each check-up appointment would be filled with stress and tears, then that would be it for another three months. It was time to put worries to the back of our minds and we lived like that for years. It was hard going, but we had some great times.”

As a family they enjoyed lots of caravan holidays in Cornwall, heading for Polzeath, where Matt could indulge in his love of surfing and the children became confident “water babies”. Another favourite has been Center Parcs, where they relished adventures on two wheels.

Matt added: “We are quite positive people and that is what has got us through. We gradually got into a routine. I looked fit and healthy and normal and generally life was manageable.”
But despite additional expert input from Cambridge GIST specialist Dr Ramesh Bulusu, eventually the cancer spread to Matt’s bones, and he started radiotherapy treatment.

In January this year the doctors told Matt there was no more they could do to treat him and in October his health took a turn for the worse. He was unable to eat and was losing weight fast. He and Kelley had been referred to St Luke’s and they called clinical nurse specialist Debbie Hutchinson for advice.

“We got the doctor out and Debbie came too. For pain management’s sake they said let’s get you into Turnchapel,” recalled Matt. “I was not ready in my mind for that. I don’t know how it’s going to be down the road, but my feelings then were, ‘I’m not ready for this but I need it’.

“They made me feel so welcome. The care they give you is so different. I got to know all the nurses and staff and you are on first name terms with everybody, including the doctors. They are so friendly and so polite.

“They started off trying to control my pain and my nausea. I hadn’t really eaten for weeks. When I was on chemo it was a form of treatment that made me put weight on – and I liked a pasty too. But I’d gone down from 15 stone in January to 11 stone.

“When you are medicated up, days just go by and you don’t even know if you’ve been fed or not. Then, when you are feeling like you can get up and do stuff, they are still there and you realise what they have done for you.”

A week after he was admitted, it was Matt’s 46th birthday and the St Luke’s team pulled out all the stops to help make it a memorable day for him, Kelley, the children and their close family.

Matt said: “We’d had a meal out booked for the Saturday with family and friends, but we couldn’t do that. The staff rallied round and got pizza and balloons and we had a family gathering. It was just a lovely thing for them to do.” They also surprised him with a cake and a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday.

“It was very important for the occasion to be marked, especially for the children. That personal touch was just lovely,” added Kelley, who has nothing but praise for the support they received from the whole inpatient team and individuals like Debbie, and support worker Lisa who is part of the team on the Patches programme that helps patients’ children and grandchildren.

“St Luke’s have been amazing for me, Matt and the children. Patches has been great. They have provided arts and crafts and fun stuff the children can do.”

At Halloween, Kelley, Madison, Lacey and Harrison brought in Chester the dog, along with some pumpkins, and spent time together carving them into ghoulish faces in the unit’s family kitchen. “Matt was given a really, really small pumpkin to carve. Then we came out into the garden and it was all lit up. We were able to put the pumpkins out all in a row. To share that moment together was very, very important. It was an opportunity to make memories that we might not have had,” said Kelley.

Perhaps the most spectacular memories the family made together was when football fan Debbie told Matt she had two tickets for him for Argyle’s match against Middlesborough on 4 November.
“I’ve always been an Argyle fan. I’m from Plymouth so it’s going to be my number one team. I couldn’t thank her enough… and then it escalated,” recalled Matt.

Argyle player Finn Azaz, one of St Luke’s regular volunteers, went to meet Matt in his room at the hospice with volunteer Elliott Darcy, who coordinates Argyle visits for St Luke’s patients and their families. A 20-minute visit turned into an hour and a half.

“I could have been sitting in the pub with them having a chat. We got on really well,” said Matt. “Then Finn asked what is your son called and does he like football?”

The next thing Matt heard was that Finn had put Harrison forward as a mascot for the match. On the day, Matt was there in the crowd with Kelley’s dad when Finn brought the six-year-old onto the pitch in front of a huge, cheering Green Army. And that wasn’t all. Harrison was given a new Argyle kit and his sisters also got to watch the game and meet all the players.

“It was a brilliant day and we cannot thank Finn and Argyle and St Luke’s enough for all of it. It’s made the best memories,” said Matt, who is grateful to be back on his feet.

“You get that stigma about going into St Luke’s. Four weeks ago, I was up in bed in complete pain thinking that was it. They’ve sent me home with the right medication and they’ve explained everything. And we have great after care. I didn’t even know hospice care at home existed. Debbie might as well move in!”

Kelley added: “We’d felt like we were in such a hole in a way. Matt’s quality of life was quite small. When things came to the point when he was in so much pain, we thought St Luke’s would be end of life care. But there was light at the end of the tunnel and we actually got Matt back.”

She has this advice for anyone who find themself in a similar situation: “It’s important to make sure you have a good connection with someone like St Luke’s, or the Mustard Tree at Derriford.
“When they say give us a call if you need anything, do call them. Everybody needs support. You can never get through this on your own.”

The couple are also incredibly grateful to all their family – especially Matt’s mum and dad, his brother Scott, and Kelley’s parents – for being there to support them in so many ways.

Last, but not least, Matt has some special words for his children: “We are very, very proud of them. I’d like to tell them to keep being yourselves and working hard! They each have their own personalities and they are all very caring. We are so lucky.”

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BLOG: Plymouth Sound Radio DJ Peter hopes prized CD collection will be a hit for St Luke’s

He was the breakfast DJ on Plymouth Sound radio, playing all the hits for you from the local studio. Now Peter Greig is saying farewell to the incredible collection of CDs he used for his broadcasts and live club sets over the decades and he’s donating them to benefit St Luke’s Hospice Plymouth.

The bright good morning voice of the city for more than 20 years, from 1975 through to the 1990s, he’s letting go of 2,000 albums, featuring artists and tunes from the Swinging Sixties onwards.

“There are some of my absolute favourites in there, like Fleetwood Mac and it’s quite a wrench to part with them, but I’ve decided they all have to go,” said Peter, 77, who is hoping they will be of interest to collectors, either as a complete set or individually, and raise a decent amount for the charity.

“The discs are all like new, not dusty or scratched – they look like they’ve just come out of the shop. It’s an eclectic musical collection, mostly artists people will know, including all-time classics like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and The Who, but some rare ones too.”

We don’t usually accept CDs for sale in our shops, but we’re making an exception for such a unique collection.

Peter wanted to do something to support St Luke’s because he had heard about the support the hospice provides for terminally ill people and their families in the local community, most poignantly his friend and fellow broadcaster Gordon Sparks, who died earlier this year.

“I always had a soft spot for Sparksy. At one time I was his boss and fundamental in training him in the mysteries of radio. I know St Luke’s helped him a great deal. It was very tragic that he died, like too many others, at such an early age.”

Originally amassing a library of 1500 vinyl singles and 1500 albums, Peter sold those to the record shop that used to be in the old Drake Circus, after he’d switched his allegiance to the new concept of CDs in the early 1980s.

“Some people thought that vinyl was better because you could hear all the scratches while the records were playing, but I liked CDs. A lot of them were sent to Plymouth Sound by record companies when they wanted to promote a single or album,” he explained. “Sometimes we had so many packets of CDs to open it felt like Christmas Day. So, quite a few of them were free promo copies and some of them are quite rare.”

Another personal favourite track of Peter’s was Eva Cassidy’s cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Songbird, the title track from her album, released in 1998, two years after her death from cancer.

“I kept were the ones I liked or thought I could use on my programmes. But I didn’t necessarily play music I liked all the time – if I had I wouldn’t have been very good at my job!”

Peter’s monster CD collection also used to enjoy an airing when he played his highly popular mobile disco sets at clubs like Castaways and the Top Rank Suite on Union Street at weekends.

“Then in the mid to late 90s I used to do a Super Sixties night at the Matchroom Suite at Colebrook and hundreds used to turn up. It was quite a buzz to go down there when it was a sell-out with 250 people. They were all very enthusiastic and they used to like someone who knew what they were doing and had all the tunes.”

Over the years Peter interviewed a number of famous people live on air for Plymouth Sound, including former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Sir Cliff Richard and US singer Gene Pitney, as well as Sir Paul McCartney after he’d left the Beatles and was on his first fledgling tour with Wings.

Peter recalled: “Paul’s wife Linda was in the band, and they were appearing at Cornwall Coliseum. The record label rang and asked if I’d like to do an interview and of course I said ‘Yes, please’. They gave me tickets to the show too.

“People tell me I was at Plymouth Sound at the very best time, and they definitely were the best years, when local radio was at its peak.”

For the past few years, the CDs have been taking up a large amount of shelf space at the Plympton home Peter shares with his wife, Versy.

“She’s never complained about all the CDs, but I think she’s going to convert my office where the shelves were into a spare room now,” added Peter, who these days finds it easier to stream music via his phone and play tracks through his sound system.

Peter’s CDs are currently at St Luke’s Western Approach store and can be viewed by appointment. If not sold as a complete collection, they will be distributed for sale across our shops. We’re open to offers, so if you are interested in, please get in touch – email ebay@stlukes-hospice.org.uk

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BLOG: Dave lives his best life at punk party send-off

Punk drummer Dave Whatmore was thrilled to be right at the heart of the action when his friends staged a unique farewell gig in his honour.

It’s not often someone gets to attend their own send-off, but the best, and only, seat in the house was reserved for Dave at the punk all-dayer held on last Saturday (14 October) at The Junction pub in Plymouth.

Featuring some of his favourite local bands, and some from farther away, it wasn’t only an epic party that everyone who came will never forget, it also raised more than £2,000 to split between his chosen charities – St Luke’s Hospice Plymouth and Macmillan.

“There’s no point having a party while you’re lying in a coffin, you’ve got to do it before you go,” said Dave, 58, a familiar face on the Plymouth music scene, who has a terminal cancer diagnosis and is being supported at home by St Luke’s.

“We held a ‘sorry to see you go’ charity gig at the Junction on Mutley Plain, a going away party type of thing. It was a nice little tribute and nice to be there and see it, rather than them doing it while I’m dead. A lot of people don’t get that chance.

“I couldn’t have wanted anything better than that. It was great fun and very nice of them to do it. There were so many people there. I sat in my seat with a circle of protectors around me. I knew pretty much everybody there. A lot of people I hadn’t seen for 30 or 40 years. It was so nice to see everyone and for them to actually be able to come and speak to me.”

At the end of April, after an episode of acute chest pain, Dave was told that he had inoperable cancer and that he might not make it to Christmas. He took a little time to digest his prognosis before his punk rebel spirit started to kick in.

“They told me I’m probably not going to see Christmas. My reaction was to buy a ticket for next February to see a band at The Junction,” said Dave, speaking at home in St Judes, surrounded by his faithful dog Poppy, his partner Alice, her two dogs Pinky and Troy, and their little cat.

He acknowledged that it was the support of St Luke’s clinical nurse specialist Debbie Hutchinson that has encouraged and enabled him to keep living in the moment and make the most out of the time he has left, to the best of his ability.

Like many people, Dave had a limited idea of what hospice care means or what to expect from St Luke’s before having a personal connection.

“I didn’t really understand what St Luke’s did and the help and love they give until I met Debbie. I thought hospice care was going in somewhere, being in a bed, shut away and you’re going to die. It isn’t anything like that.

“I get visits at home, and I get what I need to be able to do things for myself. Debbie and St Luke’s are just a phone call away if I need anything, which I have occasionally, and it’s been sorted straight away. They sorted out my medication when I would have been two days without it. Thanks to Debbie I wasn’t. I love that lady, she’s great – like a second mum. It’s a joy that there are people like Debbie and her friends who are willing to look after people and in a worse state than me.

“OK, I’m going to die at some point, but that is going to happen to us all at some time, it’s just going to be a little sooner for me than I anticipated. I’m not going to be down and angry about it. I want to enjoy what time I’ve got left and enjoy my friends because, apparently, they enjoy me.”

Immunotherapy treatment has helped Dave to feel stronger in the short term, harnessing the energy and drive to make special memories.

“I know I’m going to deteriorate; it is going to get worse and worse, but until that point, until I can’t do anything for myself, I’ll keep doing as much as I can,” added Dave, whose favourite bands of all time are Stiff Little Fingers and The Stranglers. He’s been getting out to as many gigs as he can. Just a couple of weeks ago he was able to travel to Torquay to witness PiL, another long-time favourite, in action. He also has his eye on one last outing for his own precious drum kit.

Dave’s connection with the Plymouth music scene goes back four decades. He has played drums with several popular local bands, including Mad Dog McRea in the early 1990s, Bateman and Unusual Stars. Punk is in his blood, and he has been building up a great collection of live videos from gigs he’s attended, sharing them on his YouTube channel (UPK Dave) – including his own farewell party.

Friends initially wanted to take Dave to this year’s Rebellion punk festival in Blackpool. Realising he wasn’t well enough to go they pulled out all the stops to bring the party to him and let him know how much he means to them.

Called A Gig for Spotty – Dave’s nickname inspired by the green-spotted Mohican-haired sidekick of 1980s kids’ TV hero SuperTed – it featured six bands and was organised by his mates Tom Proctor and Kevin and Alison House, with Mickey Byrne and Sweary Mark on guest DJ duties.

“It is really, really lovely. They put it all together in a couple of months. They rang up the bands and they said yes. Cult Maniax from Torrington split up 20 years ago but got back together for this gig, with two original members. We were all together back in the 1980s,” explained Dave, who used to sport his own impressive red Mohican back in the day. “One band came all the way from Blackpool and there was another band from Bristol and the others from Plymouth.”

The full 2-11pm line-up featured Bus Station Loonies, Hellwigs, Wags to Wytches, The Hate, Bad Blood and Cult Maniax.

Co-organiser Kevin House wrote on Facebook: “No words to say how proud we are of absolutely everybody connected with this and I don’t just mean the people that organised, helped, bands, the venue, I mean all of you that came and supported… The party for Dave Whatmore that was the whole reason for this, I hope we did you proud Spotty…”

The last word goes to Dave: “We did this thing, we made some money, and I chose who I wanted it to go to. I’ll be happy if it helps at least one person.”

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